flashbacks

on most nights ,
especially working weeknights like these,
I'd simply most definitely just hit the sack and doze of pretty quickly if not immediately .

but tonight .
so much , too much running in the head .

flashbacks .
why so many flashbacks ? why tonight ?


guess listenin to Khalil on repeat is not helping either ..

in monotone

an image set in monotone,
is void of so many colors,
obscured of so many details in fine,
yet lets the focus sits entirely on the subject...

aigoo ~_~

it's Monday again ... ~_~"
will have to crane the neck looking forward to next week's peppered holidays . . .
..mild consolation of sorts.

so intriguing it's overwhelming..

this one stems from something i just saw off the facebook news feed page .. a status post by a younger acquantaince of mine, and the onward comments and replies that followed (you have my bet that that won't be the last of it..)

his status was checked at our Stadium Merdeka entrance. with no mention whatsoever of the main protagonists, his status was a mere "i think i was crazy .."
the comments that followed naturally wished him a great party day and some on why he was there so early...
to which he simply replied, (to my amazement still..) that the place was already full of people when he arrived .. at twelve-ish .. on a concert day .. which often do not start until late evening.

mind boggling
overwhelmingly amazing

it's their concert day today, here for the kuala lumpur leg of their alive world tour ..

but the post today, is not simply adoration for these boys and their ..uhm, everything.
this is more of an exploration, a flash back review thingy... of idolism.

suffice to say, i still cannot comprehend the levels of stardom and more intriguingly, Fandom, that certain personality, groups, books, movies, things simply.. achieve. although not entirely overnight, but in most cases, yes that's simply the case.

i could blame it on the youth of these fans .. specifically in this case, these VIPs .. for being there hours before the concert starts. some i hear , has started queueing since last night.
were they expecting some 'thing' there even pre-concert? like a glimpse of their stars? or maybe just to get a vibe of the entire madness?
dont they already have tickets in hand? maybe it's the system, you know, free-standing-early-birds and all... but i doubt it. really.

friends and colleagues ask why i've not acquired myself a ticket too. afterall, my sis sylvia's another BB-TOP-mad fan.
honestly, it did cross our minds once when we got the news months back. then our eye stares on each other knowingly told us we wouldnt really, possibly attempt it.

just imagine ... even just by reading this younger-acquantaince-of-mine's status post .. has effectively let off the rant in me. how .. just how would i ever be able to comprehend the madness if say i were to be in the stadium tonight? the gap .. the culture .. the alienness of it all .. i wouldnt be able to make it out sane i think. =}
so i guess, yes, this is hinging on the age gap thing i think.

but really, i try to think back to my previous infatuations with pop groups, boy bands, from the 90's.. just to rationalize things a bit. perhaps, I too, have had my share of madness back then. but really, maybe it was due to the difference in economic abilities back then (kids these days fork out easily more than rm500 to catch BB in action here on local shores), i'd never really had my share of 'madness' like theirs.
even if I today were to splurge on a rm500 ticket to see some more 'appropriately aged' international stars performing here, it would still be unparalleled to what these VIPs would do today. at least i'm positive i wouldnt be at the concert venue at AM when the concert clearly starts at PM.

of course, in a wider perspective of things, madnesses like these dont just happen to acts and groups.
we all know how madness also happens when that fruit brand launches something, anything new (or half new).
did that just helped put things a little back into perspective?
uhm, not really. i'm still pretty intrigued with it all.



another itch scratched...

of relativity..

everything in life is relative so I've read and reinforced today..

the concept of time as such, differs from one person to the next, really.

say for example, time in the span of a year, is but a few flick on the phone's surface... that is, merely a few pages of my blog posts.. at an average of 2-3 posts per month, the year's a breeze with really just a few swipes at the screen.
how do you relate to a full year at your pace?

time in the span of 10 hours = equals to a full day's work for me here.
how can you relate a 10hour time frame to Your life then?

time in the span of 7 years equals to that of my total working years at the current office. I realize often, that nothing has changed much since .. (drab..)
what's 7 years to You?

so, it begs to be answered.. how long is long? how long is really long?
how much is enough? and how much is really too much?

the worse job?

firsts: it has been kind of a working weekend .. with the office's half yearly meetings presiding over both my Saturday and, today..
hence, a quiet moment alone at home like right now with only the tv and the Sunday papers is being much appreciated .. solace in solitude, simply.

a quick but deliberate flip through the Sunday Star, and I've arrived at this spread in the section of Dot.

~going to school across the border;
~hongkong leader's 100 days of missteps;
~looking perfect for the last time.

solitude makes your mind go bonkers, sometimes, and now I've arrived at the question: which would be the worse job?
~a working mother (albeit an expat) with a twice-a-day commute with your 3 school-going kids across the second link each day?

~a 100day old country leader torn between the expectations of safeguarding a fierce economy and satisfying a fiercely growing lot of unsatisfied citizens?

~a certified embalmer who has the huge task of "totally concentrating to avoid tearing their skin while bathing or shaving them"... @.@

so very extremely different are the lives of these 3 persons, and yet they paralleled each other with the weight that they each carry in their respective lives and jobs.

it's uncanny how just reading these articles for a moment make my own life seemed so ... like a wave bobbing along in the ocean, the big big ocean.
=.]

headache ..

the parents these days are just like a couple of kids ..
are yours acting about the same too ??
@.@

simple fact of the day ..

immerse yourself in other's chores ...
you will learn to appreciate what you've never given thought to ...

p/s: I love my mom ~! ❤

gd'nite

on some nights, you'll have your range of favorite soothing, 'sleeping' songs.. the ones that would put you at ease right away.. as you slowly go snoozing into the night.

and then on some other nights, you may just so happened upon some new ones, or maybe've just discovered some other old ones, that would just leave you so hyped up, you know you simply can't fall asleep, no matter how hard you try.

it is late. it is time to be resting.
but they make you feel so alive.
I hope this gib will help put me to sleep.. they almost always do.
gd'nite.

..urfghh#%;...

tell me ...
why bother ??? ...

Mondays

.. "seperti, ku bernafas dalam air"...

they're coming

❤.❤

muahahhah !

reached home after another woekday..
saw the weekly Time mag is here
great. mind food.

ripped it open
saw the header .../k-pop goes global/ ..
hmm .. surely they must be featured in there?

right on.

oh..

I thought we were just progressing along into the year..
and progressed we did.

it's already September .. in fact we're already nearing the middle of it.

it's less than 4 months now until another new year
can you imagine? wasn't that a lil too fast? no?

if you'll look at it this way, we've already covered two third of the year 2012. done & dusted.

hmm... this is a lil scary
yet this is also one of those that is hinged with that 'throw it out the window' kind of recklessness..

sigh ...

hey!!

we're doing good at the Paralympics too!
way to go athletes ! ! !

ohm ?

a few days without the need to set the alarm
a few days with no fixed pattern of waking , retiring , or nap time(s)
a few days of unlimited vegetating , of serene and undisturbed reading ..

when it all comes to an end .. as does all things perennially ..
it's almost a fact to accept , that the things that we don't always get , always seem to be the better, if not the best , of things ...

interesting stuffs ..

Dunbar's number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. These are relationships in which an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person. Proponents assert that numbers larger than this generally require more restrictive rules, laws, and enforced norms to maintain a stable, cohesive group. No precise value has been proposed for Dunbar's number. It has been proposed to lie between 100 and 230, with a commonly used value of 150. Dunbar's number states the number of people one knows and keeps social contact with, and it does not include the number of people known personally with a ceased social relationship, nor people just generally known with a lack of persistent social relationship, a number which might be much higher and likely depends on long-term memory size.

Dunbar's number was first proposed by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, who theorized that "this limit is a direct function of relative neocortex size, and that this in turn limits group size ... the limit imposed by neocortical processing capacity is simply on the number of individuals with whom a stable inter-personal relationship can be maintained." On the periphery, the number also includes past colleagues such as high school friends with whom a person would want to reacquaint oneself if they met again.


hmm.. my recent check shows that (with consistent periodic clean ups) my FB list currently stands at 151 friends.
either it's just me, or this Mr Dunbar really knows his stuff ...



another itch scratched...

a befitting closing ..

i guess this is and will always be one of those things in this life that makes me go "awww...", Big time.
♥




i could go on and on about this ...
but right now at this moment, i am still quite , bowled over . . . ♥



another itch scratched...

2?! woot!!

another patriotic-proud moment ...

Olympic oddities ..

what in the world ?? ? ...

of competitive sports ..

one's jubilance..
another's heartache ...

a Silver ..

we could choose to be bitter .. but there's really no need to.
thanks to our dedicated athletes ,
we are now at least ,
on the list ... !
=.)

London 2012

there's something about the Olympics .. that is spellbinding and captivating.
well, for a start, it comes along only once every four years .. for about two weeks or so .. and it somehow manages to unite the world over .. nothing but of pure humanity and of course, sportsmanship too.

and tonight, I watched in awe, hypnotized as I discovered while surfing among the handful of Olympic channels on Astro , the Canoe Slalom .. simply mind numbing.

just because ..

imagine this。。。
drivin home late .. after a few rounds with yer mates..
hitchin a ride home late .. after a punishing round of leg-cramping haste..
hitting home late .. after another bout of tender bender in the woekplace.. (I hope it doesn't go to waste)..

why do we stay out late?
how, usually do You spend your time late?
Late? what exactly is L a t e when you still have people yakking away at this hour at the stalls ???

I need to get some sleep. it's a Monday night folks. go get some sleep already.

awkward ..

weddings are awkward
wedding receptions even more so
i've heard that it's often frustrating enough for the person in charged (in this case the newlyweds).. but really, those chosen and decided to attend don't always have it easy either

you get a bomb from a really old acquaintance .. school mates, college mates, ex-colleagues .. all fall into this category.
you're happy for him/her of course, and you think back to all those wonderfully foolish (okay, fun) times you had together back then.
you're happy with those thoughts. so you say Yes.

and then the day comes.
a Sunday to bet.
you start to feel lethargic .. the venue is like triple the distance you'd get to work (not supposed to compare this to work).
you walk in after greeting the newlyweds, looking for your table. which you realize is just right next to the exit =S
other people start streaming in..
you realize you don't know 99% of the people there. those who were suppose to meet you there either bailed (not feeling too well) or cleverly timed their departure from dear home just in time as the dinner is served.

yes, point of concern here: why did I have to be so punctual? of course the invitation card says 7:00 sharp.
I guess I just forgot how to be a Malaysian at wedding dinners? yes, after all, this my first wedding dinner of the year...

=.="
cheers~!

moving on mid-year ..

amidst all the doldrums at woek .. silly monthly meetings, annoying annual audits, and a huge tender ahead, .. I've got two weddings and a run scheduled in between.

post-trip too , this will be a quick July I think.

:] great.

post-climb .. simply ..

the long awaited beach break .. simply had to be preluded by the achingly miserable climb up the majestic mount Kinabalu.

did not complete it tho', then again that's an entire episode-past now ...
:)

I've returned in one piece , and what matters now is, well simply, Now.

still on pre-climb jitters..

what is the most fearsome?
tonight, it is re-established;
the unknown, is the most fearsome
:S

no kancheong

no kancheong , no kancheong ,
no kancheong , no kancheong !!!

hurm??

I wonder if there's a thing called 'mid-year crisis'.

really, it's like you're nowhere here and not yet there.

tis the time where the annual doldrums resurface..
annual questions come back to haunt.
and the longing for the yearend starts to kick in ... well, for me it does I guess

sigh.... life. confusing at times like these.
:[

amazing: life is

more than a year on after the tsunami waves crashed into the northern coast of Japan, daily items of all sorts and sizes are washing up ashore on American beaches.

soccer balls, Harley Davidsons, shipping boats, contaminated tunas. and today I read, a 20m-long, 5.8m-wide and 2.1m-high concrete and steel dock float. all 8,050km of ocean in between ...

"obviously, we knew things would be coming our way, but I didn't expect anything this size." - Oregon beach dweller.


who would've thought? amazing.

amazing: life is

the internet .. it's just A m a z i n g . . .

sitting in my room here in kl,
i'm listening to songs of clazziquai from south korea,
checking out a fashion blog - the sartorialist - based in new york,
looking at mount kinabalu even before i'm on the plane there.

yes.. these things are so daily, somewhat even trivial.
only because we're (i am) so used to it.
the speed, the access, the convenience.

not taking things for granted;
Thank You, Broadband.



another itch scratched...

procrastination

yes, i am guilty of dwelling too much and for too long into procrastination.
not one who’s into jumping at things and embracing things wide-eyed and lips ‘O‘-ed in awe, i am definitely one guilty of setting things deliberately at a slow (i personally prefer to phrase it as ‘steady’), pace.

i know there are things that should be acted on and completed upon, all the ‘right’ things to do and Should Do-s … yet it is always with apprehension and trepidation that i step up to it.

so i know .. that it may take longer for me to complete that ’should-do’, whatever it may be, but still, i do reach the eventual point. and i know, i may give that pessimist and unexcited look so very often, now and then, but yet, proof me wrong and i will gladly accept the fact.

still, for all the little, little achievements that i’ve had despite the whole load of procrastinations (sometimes fear, and sometimes plain laziness), i shall give myself a ’lil pat on the back for now.
and, a toast now, to all the time in the world .. (uhm, .. fingers crossed).

another itch scratched...

wow. fantastic, baby ... ~

woek's been kinda hectic the past week or so ..
only now i'm having a couple of hours to myself before the new woek week starts in less than 12 hours.
and the slowing & winding down part didnt really happen until i was left all to myself in the haus tonite... i'd realized while having dinner in the living room earlier just now, that i was actually gobbling down my food. urp, hullo? what's the hurry now, gurl??
then i slowly, but finally, sank into the sofa.. and really started to just, h a n g . a r o u n d . . .

life has its funny ways, we all should surely know by now ..
that's when i caught a glimpse of jacky cheung on astro celestial, in a rerun of the quaint Crossing Hennessy ...
that's right, i think i do owe Hong Kong a quick review on moi part . . .


was with the mates on a 6d5n breakaway trip to Hong Kong the previous weekend ... no disneyland, no Ngongping ride .. just to give a rough picture of the trip (cuz that's what you get asked the most back at the office ..)
we roamed the streets instead, and oh my, the amount of legwork for me, was something that i didnt foresee to be so, much.
of course, looking back now, i guess that's what HK is all about. at the very least, it gave me a good glimpse, albeit just a 5days' worth of glimpse, into life perhaps, in HK.

never say die. i truly do believe they eat and sleep with that philosophy.
i somehow do not believe now, that anyone there would ever just, stroll.
the pace of life, before, during & after office hours .. are equally fascinating if not maddening.
of course, i admit, i had started to feel out of place very quickly there, even a little sick of all the people and their pace.
their practicality and impatience in all things made me a little weary, very quickly.

for a lazybum like me, HK would certainly prove to be a very stressful place to work and live in.

the irony though, which hit me right away .. was when i walked into a local restaurant back here in KL ... somewhere nearer to Home, as i entered the restaurant, i automatically held the habit to look over to the counter and sorta checked with the local guy with a nod and a smile.
he kind of just stared at me, and quickly muttered a word of "welcome", while still terpacak behind his counter. urmm, i just did too much there, didnt i ? "it isnt the norm here, remember?" i quickly reminded myself that i should abandon all things HK a.s.a.p.

the boss of course, asked what i thought of HK some day over lunch. i guess i hadnt much cheery goods to say, coz he returned with a second question "you wouldnt be going back to HK so soon now would you?" ... Gulp. was i that obvious?? or was it that without me realizing it, my boss actually does know me quite well??

he of course, followed with his 2cents' as well. of how HK is one of the most efficient place on the face of this planet. in his words, 'the economic environment there is so conducive you could actually fly in in the morning, set up a bank account and register your own business and fly out again all in one same day'.

pity. i'd never thought of HK that way.
they are like, fast. that, i know.


so.
i dont really get, HK .. for now at least.
~ the irony, when all these years we'd grown up watching HK's famous exports of TVB dramas and listening to their cantonese music.
i do acknowledge still, the city and its people for its vibrancy, efficiency, .. very simply, their zest for Life.


:)
i'm sure i'll be back .. some day, again.
perhaps then, with a better prepared mentality, i'll be able to squeeze more quaint and sweet memories out of my trip then . . . of course, until then.








another itch scratched...

the band played on..

I cried right there!, exactly right there..
@.@

a frenzy..

oh. this will go down well in time . . .
♥



BIGBANG! BIGBANG!! ♥



another itch scratched...

100 years on

"How The Moon Sank Titanic"
15apr,1912


.."it's an ingenious piece of detective work, though it can never be definitively proved.
after the ship was gone, the moon - like the iceberg itself - just drifted on."

TIME ~ mar19,2012


~a serious case of Wrong time, Wrong place? 。 。 。

thoughts to ponder..

.
.."Crisis management requires us to imagine what may be outside our imagination"..


read: after an unfortunate series of events..


so.. just how prepared are we??


another itch scratched...

change of times ..

... becquerels and sieverts are part of everyday vocabulary, Geiger counters are household items in parts of the country, saving electricity has become a year-round activity and the myth of clean and safe nuclear energy is dead.

"After March 11, I realised that I have lived before without thinking anything about nuclear power," said Kyoko Itagaki, 30, a designer taking part in an anti-nuclear rally in Tokyo last month.

"Now, the more I look into that, the more I realise how dangerous nuclear power plants are ... It's a sin not to care," she added. "My life has changed a lot. I now buy water and vegetables from certain places and have a Geiger counter."

Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda has admitted that the government, bureaucracy, utilities and experts share the blame for being blinded by the myth of nuclear safety.

Power utilities and the government are now paying the price, so far unable to persuade a single community to approve restarts of reactors taken off line since the disaster, meaning all of Japan's 54 reactors may be shut by summer...

read: insight..


fifty four?!? .. my goodness~



another itch scratched...

epic mess

.."decommissioning Fukushima could take 40 years. engineers will probably use much of the next decade trying to work out how to reach and remove fuel, which has partly eaten through its containment vessels."

40 years? a decade?? .. things of massive 'unproportion' are greatly disturbing to this mind .

and it's now only, a year on 。 。 。

quick!

in serious need of a holiday..
of course, it's always not so simple to define what's a need and what's a want..
but still, i want a holiday!
altho i'd prefer one where we'd actually just laze around and do nothing, just with the ipod stuck to the ears ... feet swinging, head tilted, eyes and senses indulging in simple cloud watching ...
still, we'd be off to another city soon enough .. (soon enough i hope!!!)

i shall brace myself until the feet swinging days come by...
[note to self: stock up on sunblock . . . ]



another itch scratched...

switching off

how do you rest a brain, that is all wired up?

especially at an hour, on a weekday.. like this?

@.@

teeth clenching ..

like, how much more simpler can it get?
it's no rocket science . ..

you go through five days of a week, then you'll get two days off
you're suppose to drop back down into reality for five solid days, and then you get to float off for another two again . ..
that's how it is, that's just how it is and that's how it's always been

even after walking this earth for more than three whole decades now..
you'd thought you'd be able to figure it out clearer ..
'stead, the idea just seems so difficult for me to grasp come every sunday night . . .

it's baffling really . . . reality is a pill hard to swallow . . .




another itch scratched...

oh..

so the holidays are finally coming to an end now..
it's kinda hard to believe
like really? aren't there any more 1 or 2 days littered here or there?

nay
it's back to work for real this time

happy f e b r u a r y . . .
-____-

inspirations.. simply

Neil Leifer - Sports Illustrated

"Muhammad Ali: 70 Iconic Images for 70 Years"
(http://lightbox.time.com/2012/01/17/happy-birthday-muhammad-ali-70-iconic-images-for-70-years/#1)

Volker Hinz - AP

Ken Regan - Camera 5

"gotta make a change... gotta make a change...
let's change the world.. let's change the world

we look at the signs and we think it's ok
you've got death, i've got trouble,
you've got grief, i've got pain
and the world is in vain only thinking of
gaining the things that eventually put us to shame

it's like the whole wide world, is at war ...

it's your world, don't forget your world
don't you turn your back on the things that you do
it's your world, don't forget your world
don't you realize when it's too late
don't forget the world is yours

the people run dry with the games that we play
in contempt of the trauma, you achieve all the fame
thru' the lies, thru' the shame, you will cease to remain
for what's left is the product of the greed from your reign
it's like the whole wide world, is at war ... "



khalil fong - youtube

another itch scratched...

rejoice for the new year!!

i'd just realized that i havent got myself a new calendar yet to replace the 2011's in my room.
in the blink of an eye .. literally, the new year is upon us.
in fact, it's now nearing the end of the 2nd day of the brand new year already!
any new or refreshed resolutions mates?!?

tomorrow is another working day. it's a tuesday, that would feel like a monday.
bless us all as we all know that the lunar new year holidays are just around the corner (in about 3 weeks just!!) Yay!!

in a way, tomorrow, although a brand new working day in a brand new year, is in fact just a continuation of all things that had been these 2 months.
the year-end/new-year mode had kicked in beginning in november ... the festivities (and holidays) had been so packed we all know it doesnt end just on new year's day.
resolutions had already been pegged back in year-end ... i guess what's left now is just some finetuning to it.

and so dear mates, let's rejoice now for the pure fact that we're all still around for the brand new year, all bad and good of it... while at the same time, anticipate another lovely month of january 2012..
i know i'm not about to let the new working week dampen my festive mood!!
:]



another itch scratched...