in the still of the night~

when im not too sleepy, and not too drunk,
i often get time to sit and contemplate a lil'
i finally snapped out of bed at 11ish this morning,
after bouts of calls on the mobile from the guys from the office.
officially starting my day as i stepped out of the haus 12ish,
reached office early with plenty of time for preparations,
but nooo~ i just had to stop by for a drink and chat with the branch guys.
so i ended up a tad late for the meeting ...
no (big) harm done i guess.. uhm, i tink.. (i hope?)

the meeting ended at 3ish.. we all had the option to leave the building and return at 6ish for the dinner. fair enough, as some had to go home to fetch the spouse and kids for the dinner, some have the nearby hotel rooms to retreat to.
but moi~, to go home and return in about less than 3 hours, seemed rather silly a thing to do.
so i sticked around.. and eventually wandered up to the dinner hall to see if they could use some help with the preparations and hall decorations.
obviously, it wasnt under my jurisdiction, nor was it under my responsibilities.
i reached to only see a handful of them doing the job.
with those supposedly incharged to help out off (home) to doll up and get themselves pretty for the dinner.
sigh . . .

1. it was (afterall, to me at least), just a dinner at the office, with the usual people around.
2. we were the hosts. not exactly the guests.
3. i do think, wouldnt it be more crucial to get the job done, rather than leave the job 70% done, and be off for some dolling up?



i do not, and very seldom, give my 100% to the company.
yet, some things you just gotta do, so as not to S c r e w up!!

i was late for the meeting..
i sniggered at the directors' speeches..
i rolled eyes when they picked me, and wanted us to do the songs rehearsals..

and yet, some things you JUST gotta do, so as to not, S C R E W up!


eventually, i'll say things went fine.
but only because, the right person were at last, around to help.
well, not myself of course. i chipped in nontheless... sometimes moral support and the presence of a 'teamwork spirit' alone gets things done, no?


the pair of dolled up receptionists slash ushers asked me why was i so plain with no make up on for the dinner.
they seemed flabbergasted.
the chief sec. asked me why did i looked so glum.. why was i not as joyous and enjoying the night as them receptions slash ushers.

i wryly answered: yes, i do wonder why they often manage to get so happy all the time at these functions.
and she actually answered: so go join them! be merry!! (like implying im some sociopath needing some gals bonding session with 'em).

and she thinks i need to join them in order to enjoy the night. hah~ .. when what i answered her, was in fact, mere rhetoric . . . =.="





another itch scratched...

note: to come back to this

happy new year
it's 2011 now

the first day of the year started rather inconspicuously..
with the first 'brain actually in function' day being like just any other monday.
like any other, working monday.. with unfinished work brought over from the previous week...

on the first day of the year, i started work rather dull-ly..
the first day of the week, the first workday of the year, with the whole world (and traffic) in full swing, i simply could not afford to be late..
at the office, i logged in to the pc, and told myself over my msn status . . . I Get To Work.
yes, in true 'positive articulation' mode siphoned off jason mraz's blog ... i learnt to turn the words around from i have to work to i get to work. positive and simple enough right?
pathetic though, that i need to force myself to be positive on the first day of the new year?

not really actually...
not when the 'plans' had been made way earlier before the new year starts
not when the 'resolutions', or what ever you call it, have been in full swing since a few months back before the new year actually hits

so i guess that gives me valid reason to whine that today, on the second brain-functioning day of the brand new year, i find myself already slightly debunking the 'positive articulation' myth ... perhaps due to my lack of positivity.. or simply my lack of discipline.

making a mental list, of things should and should nots,
sticking to them, in order to get to one point and tell yourself you've made it.
sure, they're positive-minded and goal-achieving, yay(!)

but when it is such a chore to go by days sticking to the list,
restricting yourself based on the list... practically obliterating yourself from the fun & joy that comes with and perhaps only with, that moment... by doing something based on the list, and not what you would like to do best.
so is that what's called resolutions? goals? achievements? discipline?

i guess then it's once again proven, i really do suck at discipline . . .


a small triumph today, i managed to Not pull an EL at work this morning.
i know, that doesnt say much about not pulling one Tomorrow, but still . . One day at a time now, O` new year...






another itch scratched...